i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
