physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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