So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
