Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
