every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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