Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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