did you get engaged???
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
