hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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