I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
