idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
