Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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