I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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