I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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