This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
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