Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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