Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
