Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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