Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
