she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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