Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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