i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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