If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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