She said her name was "party"
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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