remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize