I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
