am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
