FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
