The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
