How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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