Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
