I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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