dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize