omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
True college students do jello shots in the library
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