Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
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