shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
