Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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