Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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