There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Randomize
