Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
