none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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