She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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