wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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