he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
