My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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