dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Randomize
