Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
