why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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