How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
