when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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