you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
