Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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