i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
