Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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