Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
