you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
