Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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